How to cope with your parent’s divorce
From ArticleWorld
To Cope with Your Parent’s Divorce, may be traumatic and totally devastating if you are a young child. A divorce always affects children, even adult children because their lives are subtly influenced by it. There are many questions that children ask themselves when their parents divorce like – was I responsible in any way for their splitting up or can I play the role of the peacemaker, etc. They do get over it eventually but if they can get some help while they are at it, so much the better. Here are a few guidelines.
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Tips
- It is absolutely essential that you do not go through this crisis alone. The emotional upheaval coupled with isolation can further raise already heightened stress to dangerous levels which may delay the progress and eventually lead to complications.
- Be prepared to go through a gamut of emotions and feelings. Your emotions may vary from frustration to anger to a lack of concentration to sadness and depression. Remember that these feelings are absolutely normal and that the process of healing takes time.
- Thus, try and keep your emotions positive rather than becoming an emotional wreck. It is normal to feel sad and angry but to get hooked on strong emotions such as anger, depression, grief, blame, guilt, hostility, or revenge can be very dangerous, avoid that.
- Do not neglect yourself. Adjustment to your parents’ divorce can be very exhausting, both mentally and physically, and you can bounce back that much faster if you take care of yourself.
- Finally, try to avoid making major decisions and changes in your life. Familiar surroundings, friends, activities, and plans generally help to keep one’s perspective.
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Do’s
- Get help from resources outside the family. Friends, established groups such as churches, self-help groups, professional counselors and even written material can provide additional support in helping you through this time.
- Join some healthy activity like a sports or a hiking club, it will help lower stress.
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Don’ts
- Don’t kid yourself about the chances of your parents getting back together.
- Don’t take sides. Divorcing parents often slip into trying to get you to side with one against the other. Stay clear of this.
- Don’t ever give in to alcohol and drugs to get over your pain.