How to bond with step family
From ArticleWorld
To Bond with Step Family especially siblings is like walking on eggshells. All children fight with their brothers and sisters at some stage, when step children come into the picture the probability of such a scenario becomes very high. Stepfamily life is complex and all families are unique but fall outs can be avoided if a few simple rules are kept in mind.
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A few thumb rules
- Become informed about the situation before it confronts you through reading, browsing the net and attending workshops and remember that some step families never blend.
- Remember that instant bonding and adjustment is not possible and that it may take up to 5-6 years for the different traditions to merge. It is realistic to accept that step relationships will never be the same as biological relationships.
- The couple should put their marriage first and view their time together as a prerequisite. Resolve not to argue in front of the children because children suffer the brunt of an unhappy relationship, so remain united as a couple.
- Allow the biological parent to take the responsibility of caring for and disciplining their children, at least at the beginning of the relationship.
- Accept that loyalty conflicts may happen as step relatives do not always love each other.
- Be generous, willing to share and respect every member of the new family – a tall order, but doable.
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Do’s
- Form traditions that are specific to the new family while hanging on to individual past traditions that are meaningful.
- Find a supportive church or organize a step family small group. If problems seem likely to go out of hand, it is perfectly fine to seek outside, professional help trained in stepfamily issues.
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Don’ts
- Don’t keep things bottled up. Talk with your biological parent and step parent and establish rules and guidelines of behavior.
- Don’t give in to jealousy and confusion.