How to cope with arguments over your teenage daughter’s dress sense
From ArticleWorld
To cope with arguments over your teenage daughter’s dress sense can become quite traumatic and explosive if not handled just right. The parents of teenage daughters never seem to see eye to eye with their children’s choice of clothes. The more the parents try to curb the teenagers, the more they seem to rebel and give in to peer pressure. The situation asks for subtle treatment and careful handling or else you may find the whole thing blowing up in your face. Here are some guidelines for parents whose daughters’ dress sense is giving them sleepless nights.
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A few suggestions
- Try and pin point the exact facet of her dressing that bothers you. Is it visually shocking? Do you think that the way she dresses will get her into trouble? Are you hurt because she flouts your orders? Or is it that you are scared of what people will say?
- Now, take time out and talk to your daughter about what is bothering you. Talk at a time and place where you will not be disturbed by frequent phone calls or other demands on your time. You need not bring up the clothes issue right at beginning, instead have a few normal sessions and then bring it up.
- Bring up the topic casually and then move in to the specifics. Do not make accusations, be honest and tell her exactly what you find disturbing.
- You might say that it embarrasses you or that her friends, your friends, grandparents would not react positively to the way she is turned out.
- Listen to all that she has to say and then ask her to pay attention to you. This is when you put down the ground rules about what is permissible and what is not. Tell her that if she changes her clothes after leaving home then there can never be any kind of trust between you and her. Demand your rights; you are the parent but still handle the situation with kid gloves.
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Do’s
- Treat her like an adult and speak to her one to one.
- Have more than one session with her and even after the situation is in hand, do not stop having these private chats.
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Don’ts
- Don’t lose patience and don’t give up.