How to be a sensitive and caring step mom
From ArticleWorld
To Be a Sensitive and Caring Step mom can be difficult and trying, both for the step mother as well as the children to whom she is step mom. The Step mother has not only to deal with the children who more often than not resent her presence and ‘taking their mother’s place’ but she also has to deal with outsiders who dismiss her best efforts as those of a woman who does not know ‘how to be a mother to the children’ because they are not her own. Her position at best may be described as a tough one and at its worst, as a nightmare. Here are some hints and help to guide her along the way.
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A few thumb rules
- First and foremost, keep infinite patience, the children need time to get used to you and you need time to get used to them.
- Patience is also required when the children compare you with their natural mother and you invariably end up as a remote second.
- Draw on your inner strength and keep the perspective in focus, remember you are the hub around which the whole household revolves.
- Earn the respect of the children by grit and determination and some meditation, if required
- Even though each situation is unique, it helps to read available literature on parenting and following the advice.
- Respect the relationship and the bond that the children share with their father and try not to establish new rules regarding it.
- Learn to say sorry when you are wrong, the children will respect you for it.
- Finally, remember that you are the adult and they are the children, learn to give in gracefully.
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Do’s
- Try to give unconditional love and support and the stability that the home requires.
- Spend time with the children and involve them in your activities, show that you care.
- Respect the children and they will learn (in time) to love and respect you back.
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Don’ts
- Don’t let situations get out of hand, be loving but firm and establish the ground rules *early in the relationship.
- Don’t neglect your own natural children and be harsh on them in the throes of doing the correct thing.